Embracing beautiful.

I think in our society, we naturally cover and hide the pregnant belly.
We cover and hide our milk producing breasts so as not to offend.  And have now convinced ourselves, that we should feel ashamed of the changes pregnancy has.

I am not exempt from this shame.

I love pregnancy.  I love everything about child birth and growing babies...
but I hate being pregnant.

Isn't that ironic, because apparently my body was destined to be pregnant... a lot. And I am blessed with beautiful babies.  But I have never enjoyed the pregnant part.  I always feel out of my skin.





I don't deal with too many "body" issues any more.  But, for years, I felt bound by a standard.  An idea I (like many others) let myself believe.  I could blame it on the worlds corrupt idea of what "BEAUTY" is... but honestly, I was the one who bought in to the lie.
I have always been slender. Thin.  I grew up active, and remained so most of my life.  I come from a slender family. I was "blessed" some say.


But there is another side of bullying someones appearance that we don't talk about... I was often put to shame for simply being myself.  I was told I was disgusting, too skinny.  That I looked anorexic, even though I wasn't.  I was told by girls, women, some of them grown women, that they "hated me because I was skinny" "pretty".  And I spent a great deal of my adolescent years apologizing.  Feeling like I had done something wrong.



I know I have probably lost most of you by this point... Because honestly, I know how ridiculous it all is.
But aren't all body issues... ridiculous?  I am coming to realize, though, that we are the ones who hold ourselves captive.  WE are the ones who set the standard for us... for "normal".  The world can say what ever it wants, but I am the one who listens, and I am the one who chooses not to.  Talk doesn't define "beauty". Real people do. Aren't we just aiding in the brokenness, by believing the lie about beauty?  Are we really any better than the hate, when we too hate? Even hate ourselves?

Every pregnancy has led to moments of insecurity.  Times where I just feel awful, uncomfortable, and foreign in this growing body.  It's hard to focus on the life, and the beauty when none of your clothes fit and people keep asking you if your about to pop... (never a flattering question, by the way)
And some days I am so overwhelmed, overcome by pure loathing for this ever changing body.



And some days, I embrace it.  Because pregnancy IS beautiful, life is beautiful... even on me.